Deepening your Relationship with your Spouse – Always Learning

I love questions. I always have. I have always enjoyed figuring people out and learning more about who they are. We go through life with somewhat of a mask on display for other people and it has always been my fascination to find out more about what is behind the mask.

I feel like sometimes with the busyness of life we sometimes forget to continue to pursue knowing more about the people who we have relationships with, especially our husbands and wives. I think the most exciting part about first getting to know someone is asking questions and making conversation. It is a constant learning process. We are creating a memory bank of sorts that helps us make decisions and determinations based on the information gathered. Once you have known someone for a while whether 5, 10, 20 or 50 years, it is easy to just rely on the information we have in our heads rather than digging for new facts. But as we grow, we change. The answers I gave to questions 5 years ago when Chris and I first started dating will not be the same as the answers I have now. It is our tendency as busy people to not dig deeper and get to know people better but that is not what our relationships are about. I can’t best serve and understand my husband if I don’t know him and continue to pursue knowing him more.

I have put together a list of questions that I found on the internet as well as created on my own that really help delve into new realms of conversation. After getting into bed one night, I went through a lot these with Chris and was surprised at what great conversation was born out of just asking the question and how similar and different our answers were to some of the same questions. Knowing your spouse deeply is key to being able to pair your differences in the best way to tackle life together and grow in your marriage.

So I encourage you today to take time to know your spouse. Don’t assume that since you have been together for years that you know everything. I can’t tell you how many friends I have had tell me, “I feel like they don’t even know me anymore” in conversation about a challenging time in a marriage or relationship. I want to know my husband and him to know me in the deepest way. These questions range from silly to serious but more than anything they are a way to really guide conversation and give you ammunition to really get to know the people in your life more. Let’s refresh our memory banks and let’s be the kind of friends, siblings, children and spouses that actively pursue relationship and knowing eachother more deeply.

Enjoy! If anyone does end up using some of these I would love to hear about what your experience was!

Ask them to give you two “truths” and a lie. Then try to guess which one is a lie.

What is your biggest pet peeve?

If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in only two words?

If you got to choose one restaurant to eat at for the rest of your life, where would it be?

If you had to name one thing that really makes your day, what would it be?

If you could get to see any exotic animal face to face, which would you choose?

What is a misconception others often have about you?

Whats the most valuable life lesson you have learned because of a mistake?

Who would you say has impacted your life the most?

What’s an accomplishment you are really proud of?

Who do you wish you could be more like?

Read anything interesting lately?

What’s one thing you wish you had known as a freshman in college?

What is one day you would love to relive?

When it comes to love and relationships, what is the first lesson you want to teach your children?

What is your biggest complaint about your job?

If you could change one physical & non physical thing about yourself, what would it be?

What should I know about you that I’d never think to ask about?

What is #1 thing in your life that you are not doing that you wish you were?

What do you do when you feel like giving up?

What is your least favorite household chore?

If money was no object, what would you want to do in a day?

If you could only keep one book you currently own, what would it be?

What are you most excited about in your life right now?

What was your least favorite part of your childhood?

Describe one extravagance you have for which you will never apologize.

What do you want to be known for?

In one sentence what is your biggest concern right now?

What is your favorite and least favorite family tradition?

Complete the following: There would be fewer divorces in this country if only people ________.

What’s something that you sometimes outwardly wish more people realized about you, but you’re happy is internalized because to be able to sit on this information makes you stronger?

How many times have you been in love & what did each experience teach you?

What’s something that comes easier to you than it does for most?

What do you feel people take for granted the most?

What are you better at than 90 percent of the population?

What is something about you that would surprise me?

What is a piece of advice you often give but find yourself struggling to follow?

Describe your perfect mate in one sentence.

If you were immortal for the day, what would you do?

When is the last time you did something courageous for yourself?

What is the best and worst gift you ever received?

On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you?

What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done for love?

When was the last time you were nervous?

What’s something many people fear that doesn’t scare you at all?

What’s something that instantly makes someone less attractive?

Would you describe yourself as more of an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?

What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

What is something you wish you did more of in your life and something you wish you did less of?

Which significant other in your life has had the biggest impact on you and why?

 What is a piece of advice that you were given that if you listened to it, you would not be where you are today?

If you had to spend a year alone with one other person who would it be and why?

What was the last thing you learned that made a big impact on you or an ah-ha moment?

If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

If you only had 30 seconds to share one if the most important things you’ve learned with the world, what would it be?

If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

What’s one fear you know is holding you back?

What was the last mistake you made that you’re sure you’ll probably make again?

Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

When was the last time life left you breathless?