I’m pretty horrible at posting facebook updates but I’ve promised alot of people I am going to be better about posting and maybe blogging while working in New York. I figured I better get in the habit early so I remember.
Being gone for a month and possibly (probably) more is so much work. I feel like everything I have is expiring right as we are leaving, so I spent the last week getting a renewed driver’s license, tags for my car and debit/credit cards. We also applied for passports so I can market myself to representation agencies as being able to work worldwide. The next hurdle to conquer is getting individual health insurance plans that will cover us for what we need and also work outside of Oregon. I wish getting health insurance was as easy as getting car insurance. I always see those commercials on TV about comparing rates and plans and getting great deals and blah, blah, blah. Then when I go to look for help on comparing medical plans…*crickets*. It’s a daunting task to figure out on my own because it’s so important to have the right plan. I can’t even imagine how scary it would be to get hurt in New York or need a prescription and find out we aren’t covered there. As if maintaining all of our bills here isn’t going to be hard enough already! On top of that I am working on marketing myself to clients and agencies in New York. My morning routine is to wake up and after getting husband breakfast and a packed lunch and out the door for work, sit down at the computer and write emails to New York. I have sent over 250 emails, I aim for about 25 a day and with the research that comes with them this takes about 3.5 hours. My response rate is technically good but still frustrating at times to be sending out so many and only getting a couple of responses. I have to trust that the emails will pay off. So far I have 2 potential meetings with agencies that need to be finalized once we arrive.
I am in a place of excitement and also fear because it’s only a month away. It may not seem like a big deal to those who constantly talk about having “wanderlust”. During the process of preparing for this trip I have realized very clearly I am not one of those people. I am so happy being at home, working on my garden, cooking, cleaning and doing basic housewifey things. I am in my pajamas by 8 (sometimes earlier) and I have really come to love and appreciate the blessing of having a place that feels like and is home. I don’t want to miss family gatherings and simple things like watching the NBA playoffs every night and cooking good food. That is where I am happiest. But then there is this other part of me. A super passionate, competitive side that is not satisfied with my work and wants to keep getting better and better. I know I have a once in a lifetime opportunity to go and compete at the highest level in the world and I can’t seem to back down from the challenge. I have no expectation of seeing any touristy sights while I’m there or having downtime of any kind (working to me is fun), I just want to work and see if I can hang with the best. This is one of those challenges I just can’t walk away from. I can’t really describe how weird it is to have these 2 things warring inside me.
If I succeed it would mean a life of alot more travel than I probably would want. But it would give the freedom to be able to live the kind of life we want to live. I would make more money than my “UN-educated” self could ever dream of making in a traditional job. It would be the hardest and most demanding work I’ve ever done but my competitive nature would be satisfied working at the highest level in the world. I’m not one for fame and people knowing my name, I would be satisfied to get money over recognition any day. But the end goal is to be able to have the freedom to be present as a parent someday, to not have to take tiny jobs for a couple hundred bucks and have to work 7 days a week. I want to work the big jobs, a couple clients a year and the rest of the time is spent marketing (which can be done from home). And while I’m dreaming, on top of being an awesome and very present parent someday, I would love more than anything to live on the river. That is my happy place. So with that in mind I am looking forward to the adventure and the discovery of what is next.
As anxious and stressed out as I am, I also have incredible peace knowing that this is what I’m supposed to be doing. I have been lucky enough to have, even in the hardest of times, a path laid out before me and a direction to follow. I’ve been blessed to be surrounded by the right people and right circumstances to take the next step. And of course a husband who is the most supportive of all. He is also taking a huge step in leaving his job to go on this adventure. To human eyes it seems like the wrong move in every way. But we always encourage eachother by saying that every great success story has a leap of faith moment where there is an ultimatum between the conventional and the unknown, the tried and tested method vs the against all odds experiment and we have both decided we don’t want to be on our deathbeds saying we wish we would have tried the impossible. So we trust and we move forward knowing that we are in the safest place doing what we are meant to be doing.